Stan Smith once said that“Experience tells you what to do; confidence allows you to do it,” and he probably knows a thing or two about getting stuff done, as a former Number 1 tennis player and namesake behind the Adidas Stan Smith trainers. However, confidence doesn’t come easily to everyone, and some men have to work hard to have conviction in themselves. For those who suffer from insecurities and lack of personal belief, even coming forward with their point of view in a meeting room can be paralyzing. The good news is, there are now lots of ways to instantly up your confidence, in any aspect of your life.
Feeling confident at work
Confident people tend to progress further, and faster, professionally. That’s because they make sure their ideas get heard, are willing to put themselves forward for new tasks and promotions, and negotiate hard on details like job titles and salaries.
If the thought of putting yourself on the line at work fills you with dread, maybe that’s exactly what you should do. Your confidence will only increase once you push yourself out of your comfort zone, and learn that you can actually achieve what you want to achieve. Start small, by offering to take on one additional responsibility that doesn’t feature in your job description. Look for something that you think your current skill set could lend itself to, and ask a close friend or colleague if you can bounce ideas off them. The more you practice communicating your thoughts, the braver you’ll feel and the more ready you’ll be when another and bigger challenge comes along. It’s like lifting weights at the gym: the more reps you do, the stronger you’ll get and the bigger weights you’ll be able to press.
If you’re feeling unconfident in the lead up to a job interview, dedicate some time beforehand to running over the questions the interviewer might ask, and make sure you prepare knowledgeable and authoritative answers to those lines of inquiry. In an interview setting, the spotlight will be on you, which may well make you feel uncomfortable. So look for opportunities to ask questions of the interviewer, such as ‘What’s the company culture like?.
How to cope in a group of loud and proud friends
Most friendship groups have one or two friends who are quieter than the rest. Otherwise, everyone would be shouting over each other all the time! There’s no shame in being more reserved versus your mates, but being overpowered by more dominant characters in your social circle can be detrimental — do you find you never get a say in group activities, or your mates are always out to embarrass you in front of girls?
You don’t have to assert yourself in the same way your loud and proud friends do, but if you find you can stand up for yourself in front of those you’re closest to, you’ll soon find you can do it in other parts of your life too. Try taking more of a leading role in organizing the next get together, to start getting your voice heard more often. If you know you’re better at playing soccer than your friends, consider organizing a kick about in the park; look for ways to remind your friends that you’re a force to be reckoned with also.
Having belief in your dating game
It may be the case that when you’re out with your friends, the most confident and outgoing guys seem always to get the girls. It’s good to remember that girls like a guy who can listen and ask questions about them. Try to get some one-on-one time with a girl at the bar, so you can show her that your quieter side has its benefits. If, for some reason, your advances fall flat: she’s just a person! You shouldn’t be bothered about any girl who’d make you feel bad about yourself, even if she’s not interested in being anything more than friends. In fact, making female friends can be really beneficial for your dating game. Not only will you have an insider view to help you better understand the mysteries of the fairer sex, but your confidence in chatting to girls should skyrocket. If you’ve not got any female friends to turn to, get your practice up through a dating app; everyone feels braver when texting, rather than speaking face to face. Just don’t get too dependent on digital flirtation!
If you’re feeling somewhat shy about dating due to physical insecurities, consider getting more info about how you can increase your sexual prowess. Everyone knows that size isn’t everything, and the size of your manhood shouldn’t be something anyone judges you for, but if it would make you feel more confident in yourself, then it definitely can’t hurt.
Putting your best self forward when meeting new people
When you lack confidence, you may avoid meeting new people altogether. Despite your fears, the best thing you can do is get yourself out there and brave the unknown. When first speaking to a new friend, remember to smile, maintain eye contact and ask them questions about their lives as this shows you’re interested, but also keeps the spotlight off you and your private life.
At birthday parties and social gatherings, arrive on time (but not early!)to avoid the potentially stressful sensation of walking into a room full of people.
‘Fake it ’til you make it’ does work
It may sound like silly advice, but psychologists and researchers have agreed that the ‘fake it ’til you make it’ approach can actually work. So, if you can imagine what a more confident and ballsy version of you looks and acts like, then you can indeed encourage yourself to believe in yourself more. Whether you choose to try taking on more responsibility at work or make it your ambition to ask a girl out for a drink this week, belief in yourself is the number one thing you need to make it happen.