Being a parent is a huge responsibility and it can put a huge amount of pressure on both of you. However, that does not mean that you have to give up on yourself or your relationship. There are plenty of ways to maintain a healthy relationship after parenthood.
Let’s be honest for a moment. Having a baby is going to turn your world upside down! Your entire life is going to change and making the transition can be very difficult. Not only do you suddenly have all of these new responsibilities, but you are going to see a huge change in your social life, your day to day lifestyle and even your sex life. This can all put a large amount of strain on your marriage. It is no surprise that many couples who choose to divorce do so soon after the birth of their first child. In fact, statistics show that 40% of children born to a married couple will see their parents divorce by the time they turn 18. It’s not all doom and gloom though, having a child is of course a joyous occasion and if you are willing to put in the effort then your relationship does not need to suffer – it just has to adapt!
Making Time For Your Relationship
One mistake that many parents make is that they allow the baby to come between them. All of the love and attention gets focussed on the child and before long the parents are taking each other for granted. This seems to have an especially negative impact on dads. It is often the case that the mother forms a close bond with baby much more quickly and there is a danger that dad gets pushed to one side as she feels the baby can give her all the love she needs. This is one of the most common reasons why new dads end up seeking affection outside of their marriage.
In order to avoid these types of situations, it is important that you make an effort to make time for your marriage. Family time is great, but you also need time to yourself. You are both going to be tired, but no matter how drained you feel make sure that you spend a few minutes with your partner just talking about how your day was. Share your feelings and your concerns and try not to just talk about baby – this is time for you! Dinner time is a great opportunity to have this daily talk, or just before bed. Similarly, you should make a point of sharing a kiss and a cuddle at least once every day. It’s all about making time as a couple rather than parents, so take advantage of anyone who is willing to offer babysitting duties for an evening!
Let’s Talk About Sex
One thing that few new parents are aware of is the fact that sex is going to change following child birth. It’s something that nobody talks about, but most women are going to find sex uncomfortable for a while after birth. It sometimes takes up to a year before things really get back to normal.
This doesn’t mean that you cannot have a sex life, but you might need to get creative in order to keep things interesting. One of the big things that couples complain of after having a child is that they have no time to have sex, or that they are too tired once bedtime roles around. If you find that this is a problem for you then why not try having sex in the morning instead? Wake up a half hour early and start they day off in the most intimate way possible. Not only will you not be too tired, but the endorphins will set you up for the day ahead!
You can also try more creative ways to keep your sex life ticking over such as indulging in phone sex or giving some sexy role play games a try. This is especially important where the Mommy feels that her body is not quite ready to enjoy intercourse again – don’t forget sex does not need to include penetration!
There is no denying that becoming parents will put a strain on your marriage, but with a little effort you can keep your relationship on track.
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