A lot of research has been conducted on the effect that divorce has on children. Much of this research has concluded that divorce will negatively impact the child. Parents have used this research to suggest that they should stay together. Even when the relationship that they have is dead. The emotion has gone, and they are left with the love for the children.
Having children should not stop you getting a divorce. This is your life as well, and you should not have to spend it tied to someone who might have cheated. Or with someone who you may no longer love. It’s admirable that you want to protect your children, but it shouldn’t be at the expense of yourself. As well as this, there are ways to ensure that your children are not negatively impacted by a divorce.
Don’t Argue In Front Of Them
One of the worse things about people who don’t get divorced is that they tend to continue arguing in front of their children. In a divorce, these arguments will be temporary. In a marriage, they will last until the children leave home and could have severe psychological effects. You want to avoid arguing in front of your children even if you are getting a divorce. Make sure that the breakup at least appears to be both mutual and amicable. Even if it’s not, this is how it needs to be presented. You must maintain a strong front and not let your children see any feelings of animosity.
Don’t Play Them Off Your Partner
One of the biggest mistakes a parent can make getting a divorce is trying to ‘win’ the child. Divorce Attorney Matt Skillern will tell you that a child is not an object or a possession and should never be treated like one. Therefore, you should not try to turn your child against your partner. You should not ask them to pick sides and try to make them choose you. Instead, you must allow your child access to your partner. Unless, they have shown that they are not fit to be a parent. This is the only situation where you should fight for sole custody.
Do Not Disregard New Relationships
You should never disregard or demean new relationships your former partner might have. Don’t forget these girlfriends or boyfriends could become a big part of your child’s life. You may not like the new person that your partner is dating but you should never show this to your children. If that partner feels tension in their relationship, they may subconsciously take it out on your child. You don’t want to put them in this position. Accept new relationships openly and build a strong family unit around them for your children to rely on.
If your partner still wants to be there for your children, do not push them away. Children often need both parents in the relationship, even after a divorce. Particularly, if they have grown up with both of these people there.