There are lots of reasons why marriages fail. But there is a single underlying symptom of that failure that prompts us to divorce. Unhappiness. You may be unhappy with how you feel about the relationship, or you may be unhappy about the actions and attitudes of your spouse. Unhappiness is so corrosive to our well-being, that divorce is often seen as the cure. Cut off the relationship to start rebuilding yourself again.
Divorce is hard, though. How your soon-to-be-ex behaves during the process can be incredibly hurtful. It’s rarely an amicable agreement. Using divorce attorneys is the best way to distance yourself from the hurt and pain. Let them handle the legal things and negotiations. It gives you a chance to make plans for your future. A life without your ex by your side can feel quite scary. It can also feel freeing.
Having a positive approach to your life after divorce helps you to maximize all the opportunities it offers. All the things you put on the back burner to support your ex’s career decisions can now be brought to the fore. All those hobbies and interests you didn’t have time for before should be dusted off and indulged again. And you can spend as long as you want in the bathroom without someone else knocking on the door!
After years of the same routines with your spouse, it can feel a little overwhelming to have to create your own. But it is also very liberating to live life a little more selfishly. You don’t need to consider another person’s feelings before you act. All decision making is done for your own benefit. And the whole bed is yours to spread out on and get comfortable!
However, it can be easy to slip into bad habits when there is nobody else around. You might get into the mindset that nobody else is there to notice or care about what you do. It’s important that you use this post-divorce period to make yourself strong again. Use your evenings to better yourself. See friends and family. Have nights out. You can even join interest groups or get involved in your community.
Finding happiness needs to start from within. You shouldn’t need another person in your life to make you happy. Finding love again may not be on your mind right now, but it is likely it will occur. Between now and then, find love within yourself. The past is the past, and it is gone. Now is the time to find all those things about yourself that you love, and embrace them.
It’s easy to immerse yourself in your career as a substitute for your relationship. It can also be easy to immerse yourself in other less healthy things. Try to write a list of things that you love to do in life. You can include physical activities like sports. Include social activities like eating out, and include activities from the arts, too. Finding a life balance will help you feel like a whole person again.
Divorce can leave a big hole in your life. But it can also set you free to rebuild the life you always wanted. It can pave the way for a better you.